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My hair now...and how I want it cut.


It's long now. In the ''short'' picture I have the part in the back pinned up. And the side of my head is shaved. ;) I love ittt.

ROTW and some other stuff.

 Today will be my first Recipe of the Week! I've chosen to make this ''chicken with lime'' recipe. It has crushed basil, thyme, lime juice, salsa, boneless chicken...it looks simple to make, also.

Mom's choosing what salad we'll make.

Other stuff I'm doing today...getting what's left of my once-beautiful acrylic nails OFF of my hands...hopefully cutting the rest of my hair (what I want cut) off...and...Lamar is supposed to be coming down today. So we'll see....


BECAUSE I have vowed to learn how to cook while I am living at home (BOTH my parents are amazing cooks. AND my younger sister is getting to their level, too), I have come up with a new tradition for Tuesdays called Recepie of The Week (ROTW). My ex room mate Laverne gave me TWO cookbooks for Christmas because she knows I can't cook anything beyond pasta. SO I'm going to pick one recepie per week and learn how to make it.

Every Tuesday I will do this with my mom. I'm looking through my cookbook now to get some ideas for what I might want to do....


New Pole!

OK so THIS called for a new post. My mom got me (for a belated bday present) a new pole! One that DOESN'T require stupid cieling fixtures, one that is completely removable! YES! I am so excited and pumped. I can't wait til it gets here. Since I no longer have a gym membership, it will be great exercise!


Shrink appointment

Well, I told my shrink about the 2 car accidents in the past 2 months and about how I haven't done well in school for the past year.

He said to just keep taking my medicine CONSISTENTLY (not skipping days or weeks). I found this magazine in his waiting area and I stumbled upon this article that screams ME.

It's about impulsive behavior...which I am the queen of.  It's one of the main symptoms with Bipolar disorder. It was refreshing to see that there are tons of people who go through the EXACT same thing that I do. And it gave really good tips on how to keep myself from making impulsive choices.

The man who wrote this article is Stephen Propst. Here's a snippet from the article.

"Urgency. You want something NOW, not later. So you act rashly, giving in to your desire to avoid the negative feelings associated with resisting what you want. Lack of perseverance. You act without iscipline. you have poor follow-through, getting bored fast and giving up easily."

This part is especially me... "In a high drive to numb the pain of low self-esteem (a common symptom of bipolar), we engage in reckless behavior. Impulsivity becomes a type of self-medication-a way to cope with underlying issues and calm mood swings."
He couldn't have worded that entire article better. I wrote him an email asking if he had a blog or a site where I could read more articles.


Aug. 2nd, 2010

 I feel prettttty good this morning. I did what I needed to do on my to-do list (which rarely happens). I usually don't even have a to-do list.

Man...I always feel so ''together'' when I take my meds. And then I start to think ''why did I ever stop taking my meds''.

Why DO I stop taking my meds? Why does an addict have relapses, even after they have their life together? Why does a battered woman go back to her abuser even after she's found real happiness? Some of life's mysteries I guess. <---Oooh. Nice quote.I made it up myself!


A New Start. Really, this time.

 I figured I'd do something constructive. So I decided to write out a map of my life. Atleast, the way I want my life to go.

So year by year, I wrote a brief summary of where I see myself at that point. I did it in 2 sections...school life and personal life. The school list is way shorter because those are just numbers like credit hours.

The personal life one is way longer.

This year, a few of my goals are to budget better, work on time management, be more considerate of my family and Lamar's feelings, to learn how to cook, etc.. 

It's great because it really was an eye opener for what I really want for myself. When I'm 26, I see myself possibly pursuing a master's degree. I didn't think that would've been something I wanted, but now I am pretty sure it is. 

I don't see myself wanting kids or trying to have kids until I'm 28. 

So yeah. I feel good. 
 Me, my mom and my sister are going to a John Mayer concert. I'm not a huge fan, so I'm not really excited.

All I've really done today is organize what's left of the stuff I moved from the townhouse. And ofcourse I organized my calendar.

I'm not THAT far away from this damn bachelor's degree. I'm 2 years away. I know I blew off school and if I had just stayed on my path I would've been pretty much done by now. Wow...how different life would be. Me NOW with a bachelor's? Ugh, I wish. I would be unstoppable.

By the time I get my bachelor's I be 24. I feel like it's old, but it's not. Because if I decide to pursue my MASTER'S degree, I will be what...26 or 27 when I get that? And THEN I will be ready to have kids. I want to be married pretty much right after graduation. My senior year of college I will be planning Lamar's and my wedding. 

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I DO have a lot to look forward to. 

I keep flashing back to that accident, and I keep replaying it over and over in my head. I keep thinking about what could've happened. I can visualize almost perfectly what it would've been like if I had gotten seriously injured. Not pretty. I am truly TRULY really blessed to have walked out of both of those accidents without a scratch. 


Young girls do NOT make fit parents!

 Swear I should be a life-coach to some of these dumb girls around here. I log onto facebook, where my ''timeline'' is bombarded with ridiculous posts by these teen ''moms'' who go out and party HARD.

It's bad enough to have a baby and be a bad parent...but to BRAG about it?! And nobody SAYS ANYTHING?! 

This one particular girl's posts really disturb me. I think of her baby, which she was soooo excited to have. And now that she's here and 3 months old, this girl still parties, gets drunk even during the day and BRAGS about it.
She hangs out with people my age  and they don't say anything. She also hangs out with this one girl I really don't like...who just takes the baby off her hands whenever this girl feels like being a kid and getting shitfaced.

This other girl added me. She is graduating high school in 2012. Her default picture is a picture of her very large pregnant belly...with writing on it. Like it's cute. 

I have made many mistakes in my lifetime. But I can promise you this, if I had a baby that was dependent on me....I would've never made any of those choices. EVER! 


Writer's Block: Don't fear the reaper

Have you ever had a near-death experience? How close have you come to dying?

I have had THREE. Not one...not two. But 3. First one...I was robbed on Christmas night 2008 at gun point. The robber loaded and cocked the gun in front of me and put it to my head, and after he robbed my money and my laptop he showed me the duct tape and rope that he had also brought along.

In the past  2 months I have totaled 2 cars. Both times the police were perplexed on how I made it out alive. AND without even a scratch. 



Welcome To My Blog!

My name is Laura, I'm now 22 (as of July 2010). I'm just writing about my life, my goals, and about the road I'm taking to reach those goals.

I have Bipolar disorder, so I write a lot about living with that, certain obstacles I might face sometimes because of it, and how I overcome those. So, if anyone reading this has it, too, feel free to drop me a line if you ever need some support.

Some of my hobbies include playing piano and pole-fitness. I am a BEAST on the piano and I'm also getting very good with pole-fitness! So stay tuned for some videos!

*Updated 8/1/2010*
I have been writing in this blog on and off for about 3 years. I've written about plenty of my ups and downs! (Most of these entries are *friends only* so if you don't have LiveJournal and if you aren't my friend on here, you can't read them). But all of my very recent ones are public.
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